Don’t Get Comfortable

Comfort can feel like peace, but sometimes it’s just a prettier name for settling. I’m Jax, and I’m drawing a hard line in the sand: midlife is not a waiting room. It’s the season where we stop playing small, stop asking for permission, and start choosing the life that actually fits.

I share the moment that cracked my own comfort wide open: a Monday layoff, a severance check, and the realization that I was surviving on autopilot. From there, I walk you through what rebuilding really looked like, the unglamorous uncomfortable steps that added up to massive change, including losing 190+ pounds naturally, paying off $45K in debt, and creating a life filled with strength, stability, friendships, and purpose. If you’re navigating midlife mindset shifts, weight loss motivation, or a fresh start after burnout, this one is for you.

Then we move into seven “July glow-ups” that turn summer into a midyear reset: a no-shame mid-year financial review, seasonal fruit-forward meals, summer beauty rituals (yes, daily SPF), confident swimsuit shopping, patio dates that count as self-care, simple hosting that builds community, and gratitude for the people and routines that hold you up. You’ll leave with practical ideas you can do this week, not someday.

Pick one brave step, put it on the calendar, and make it real. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a push, and leave a review to help more women over 40 find this community.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, welcome back to the Midlife Glowgetter. I'm Jax. I'm so glad you're here with me today. Can I just say something really quick before we really dive in? If you are a returning listener, thank you from the bottom of my heart. The fact that you keep coming back here, that you keep choosing to invest time into yourself, in your growth, in your mind, that means everything to me. You are already doing the thing. You are already being a glow getter. I see you and I thank you. And if you are brand new here, welcome, friend. You found the right place. This is a podcast for women over 40 who are done playing small, who are done waiting for permission, who are done with the idea that midlife is a wind down. Because we are not winding down. We are just getting started. Okay, so today's episode I'm really excited for. We have two big things we're covering, two meaty, juicy, goodness-packed segments that I think are going to leave you feeling both fired up and inspired

Welcome To Midlife Glowgetter

SPEAKER_00 1:10

to actually do something. Segment one, don't get comfortable. This is a mindset shift that has been living rent-free in my brain for weeks now. And honestly, it's been running in my life for the past four years. I just didn't have the words for it until recently. We are going to go deep on this one because I think it is the foundation of everything. And then segment two, July glow-ups. We are in the middle of the year. We are into summer, and I have a beautiful list of things I want to be intentional about this month. Little and big ways to glow up your body, your money, your table, your beauty, your relationships, all of it. Summer is not the time to coast, my friend. Summer is a time to bloom. So grab your coffee, get cozy, and lay or lace up your sneakers for a walking time. Because this is a good walking episode. Let's go. Okay, let me start with a statement that may might make you feel a little uncomfortable. And honestly, that's the point. Comfort is the enemy dressed as peace. Read that again. Comfort is the enemy dressed as peace. Because here's the thing: comfort feels good. It feels safe. It feels like, okay, I figured things out. I've settled in. This is fine. And fine is, well, it's fine. Nothing wrong with fine. Except for one thing. Fine is not the life you dreamed of. Fine is not the woman you know you are capable of being. Fine is not the life that makes you jump out of bed in the morning with a fire in your chest. Fine is comfortable. And comfortable, especially for women over 40, is dangerous. Not dangerous like skydaving without a parachute. Dangerous like a slow leak. Dangerous like you wake up in five years and realize you have been on autopilot and you don't even know how you got there. The danger isn't failure. The danger is settling into a life that

Comfort Disguised As Peace

SPEAKER_00 3:23

almost fits and calling it enough. That is what I mean when I say do not get comfortable. Now let me tell you where this mindset actually came from in my own life. Because this isn't theory for me. This is my story. May 9th, 2022, it was a Monday. I was sitting at my desk working from home in my pajamas, like a lot of us were post-COVID. And I got a Teams meeting invitation that popped up at 10 a.m. Nothing unusual about it, right? Except there were 75 people in that meeting, 75 underwriters, me included. I knew what it was before anyone said a word. And sure enough, pink slipped, laid off, done. I took a $15,000 severance pay and 12 months of medical insurance from my son and I. And I clocked out at noon, closed the laptop, and just sat there. In my pajamas at my desk in the quiet. And it hit me all at once, like a roof caving in on a slow collapse that had been happening for years. No one to depend on financially, bills, debts, a son in college away that I was supporting. And me sitting there, weighing 431

The Layoff That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_00 4:46

pounds. Now I want to stop you here because I'm not sharing those numbers for shock value. I'm sharing them because I want you to understand the fullness of where I was. I wasn't just uncomfortable. I was deeply unwell, physically, emotionally, financially. I had spent years using my circumstances as excuses. I was a young single mom, one income, I had clinical depression and anxiety. My medication had caused me to gain significant weight. I was exhausted. I was depleted. I was always last on my own list. I had stopped dreaming, stopped trying, stopped showing up for myself. Looking back, I wasn't living. I was surviving barely. And I had been comfortable with that. Not happy, not thriving, but comfortable because at least I knew what to expect. At least the hole I dug was familiar. But sitting there on May 9th at noon in my pajamas with no job and everything feeled like it was crumbling, something shifted inside me. Something that said, this is it. It is time. Show yourself what you are actually made of. So I did. So I started doing uncomfortable things, one at a time. Nothing fancy, nothing Instagram worthy at first. Just hard, real daily things that pushed me past what was familiar. I started walking every month morning at 6 a.m. I was 431 pounds. Walking was painful. It was embarrassing. I was terrified of what people thought when they saw me out there. But I put them on my shoes and I went. Every morning, six in the morning, before the world was awake, before I could talk myself out of it. I started a new job in person, new environment, new people, new expectations. Nervous every single day at first. Uncomfortable doesn't even cover it. I picked up a second part-time job on top of that. More hours, more to learn, more exhaustion, more discomfort. I started meal prepping on Sundays, early mornings, standing in my kitchen when I would have rather been sleeping. I joined a gym, which, if you ever walked into a gym feeling like you don't belong there, you know exactly the kind of uncomfortable I'm talking about. I started making new friends, putting myself out there. I organized a woman's walking group. Me, I organized it. The woman who was scared to walk outside at 6 a.m. because of what I thought people would think of me. All of that, every single bit of it, was deeply, genuinely uncomfortable. And four years later, 190 plus pounds gone naturally, $34, actually $45,000 in credit card and auto loan debt paid off, a job that is stable, a new job that is stable, rewarding, and that I am actually proud of, a beautiful circle of friendships, a style and beauty routine that I actually love, and this podcast, this community, online, my website, all of you. None of that happened because I stayed comfortable. Every single one of those results lives on the other side of something that scared me. So why am I telling you this? Why does this matter, especially for women over 40? Because I think midlife is exactly when the trap of comfort begins and becomes the most seductive and the most costly. Here's what I mean. By the time we hit 40, most of us have been through enough to know what heartbreak feels like, what failure feels like, what starting over feels like. And so somewhere along the way, a lot of us have made an unconscious decision, consciously or not, to stop putting ourselves in situations where those things could happen again. We stopped trying new things because we didn't want to look like a beginner. We stopped dreaming big big because we didn't want to be disappointed. We stopped showing up for ourselves because we had spent so many years showing up for everyone else. We forgot that was even an option. And slowly, without even realizing it, we got comfortable, not happy, comfortable. But here is what I want you to hear. When you grow,

Uncomfortable Actions That Built Results

SPEAKER_00 9:35

when you actually grow, you are, by definition, a beginner at something. You don't know what you're doing yet. You feel

Why Midlife Makes Comfort Seductive

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awkward, you feel nervous, you feel like you might fail, and all of that feels deeply, undeniably uncomfortable. But growth also brings adventure, it brings hope, it brings the kind of confidence you cannot buy or fake, only earn. It feels like you feel alive. Comfortable doesn't feel alive. Comfortable feels like a waiting room. And friend, you are not here to sit in a waiting room, you are here to live. Okay, let me give you something practical because I am a coach. I love the theory and I love the action steps. And here's what I want you to think about this. Step one, get real and honest with yourself. Sit down and actually look at where you are. Not to beat yourself up, not to spiral in shame. Just look. How did you get here? What have you experienced? What have you been settling for? Where are you playing small? Sit with it. Then that honestly is the starting point. Step two, get creative and explore. Start asking yourself questions. What do you actually want? What lights you up? What makes something glow inside you when you think about it? You don't need to have a full plan. You just need to start letting yourself want things again. Journal it, daydream it, talk to a trusted friend about it. Give yourself permission to imagine. Step three, treat it like a scientific experiment. Try new things, learn new things, experience

Five Steps To Start Growing

SPEAKER_00 11:33

new things, and stay curious. You are not looking for perfection, you are looking for data. Does this feel like something? Does this open a door? Does this make you want more? Every new thing you try is just information. Step four, take massive action, dedicated action. Not one day, not someday, now. Something small this week, something that slightly terrifies you. Not skydiving, not quitting your job tomorrow. Something real and doable. Send the email, sign up for the class, book the solo trip, say the thing you've been swallowing for years. Step five, know your why. Why do you want this? Why are you willing to be uncomfortable? Make it real, make it specific, make it something that will pull you forward on days when comfortable is calling your name and the couch sounds a lot better than the gym. And why has to be bigger than your excuses? And one more thing, the big one. Stop paying attention to other people's opinions about your journey. This is your life. You are the only one who knows what makes you happy. You are the only one who has to live inside your story. Other people's thoughts about your choices, that's their business. Your growth is yours. I want to leave this image with you. Picture the most alive version of yourself. The you that's growing, the you that's learning something new, the you that's nervous and excited at the same time, the you that's becoming. She is not comfortable, but she is glowing. That glow, that is what you're waiting for on the other side of you that you've been avoiding. The battle is what gets you the joy. The climb is what builds the life you are destined for. You have paid your dues. You have lived and struggled and earned those scars. Your story brought you here to the exact moment. And this moment right now is where you decide to stop being comfortable. And I'll close this segment with a question from the poet Mary Oliver because it gets me every time. Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Don't spend it comfortable, friend. Don't spend it coasting. You are a glowgetter. Now act like it. Okay, I hope you are all fired up. Now we are moving on to segment two, and I'm so excited about this part because it is July, and July is one of my favorite months. Everything is blooming, the days are long, the energy is high. And if you have been letting 2026 just kind of happen to you, today is the day we change that. We are doing July glow-ups across every area of life. Because a glow getter doesn't just glow up her mindset, she glows up her kitchen, her finances, her beauty routine, inner relationships, and yes, even at the pool. We are going to talk about it all today. I've got seven July glow ups for us. Seven intentional, doable, beautiful ways to close out the first half of your year strong and step into summer glowing from the inside out. Let's go. July glow up number one, mid-year financial review. Alright, let's start with what nobody wants to talk about, but everybody needs to. Money.

Mary Oliver And The Wake Up Call

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Specifically, where is your money right now? We're halfway through the year. Here's why this matters most, and why July is the perfect time for it.

July Glow Ups Across Life

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January is when we set all the intentions, right? The budget, the savings goal, the debt payoff plan, the vision board with the numbers on it. And then life happens. February happens. March happens. And suddenly it's July, and you generally don't know if you're on track or if you've drifted off course. A meteor financial review is a chance to look at the score. Without judgment, just information. Pull up your bank account, look at where your money went the first six months. Compare it to what you've planned. Are you saving? Are you spending in alignment with your values? Is there debt you committed to paying down and hasn't moved? Be honest, be kind to yourself, and then make a new updated plan for

Mid Year Financial Review

SPEAKER_00 16:21

now through December. You have six months in your this year remaining. Six whole months. That is enough to make a real difference in your financial picture. But only if you look at it clearly now. Don't wait until December to see where you've landed. Look now, adjust now, and finish strong. July glow up number two. Seasonal fruit forward meals. Okay, we are shifting from money to food. And this one I love with my whole heart. July is when produce starts getting really good. We're talking strawberries, blueberries, peaches, cherries, watermelons, mangoes. Everything is coming in fresh and bright and beautiful. And it is the perfect time to let that gorgeous seasonal fruit lead your meals. What I mean by fruit forward meals is this: let the fruit be the star, not just a garnish, not just a little side cup. Build around it. A big, gorgeous summer salad with strawberries, arugula goat cheese, and candy pecans. A peach and chicken skillet. A mango salsa over grilled fish. A blueberry overnight oats situation that makes you exactly excited to eat breakfast. Smoothie bowls piled high with all the color. When you eat seasonally, you are eating fruit at its peak nutrition and its peak flavor. It's one of the simplest ways to take care of your body in the

Fruit Forward Summer Meals

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summer. And there is something deeply satisfying about cooking with what the season is offering. It connects you to what is real and alive and abundant right now. Go to a farmer's market this month if you can. Let what's beautiful and fresh inspire your meals. Your body will thank you and your soul will too. July glow up number three, summer beauty rituals. You are glowing the summer, and that means it's time to update and elevate your beauty rituals for the season. Summer skin has different needs than winter skin, and summer energy calls for a different kind of beauty intention too. This month I want you to look at a few things. First, your skincare. SPF is non-negotiable in summer. Full stop. You are not wearing sunscreen on your face every single day. July is the day that changes. Get a good SPF moisturizer and make it a daily habit. It is the number one anti-aging thing you can do, and that is just science. Second, your hair. Summer can be brutal on hair between the sun, the heat, the humidity. A good deep conditioning treatment once a week can make such a huge difference. And if you've been meaning to try a new summer look, a lighter color, a trim, a protective style, do it this month. Third,

Summer Beauty Ritual Reset

SPEAKER_00 19:26

your body. Summer means more skin showing. And that is not a reason for shame. It is a reason for celebration. Get a good body lotion. Try a gentle self-scanner scanner if that makes you more luminous. Get a pedicure. Even a home one counts. Show up in your skin like you belong there because you do. Beauty rituals are not vanity. They are self-respect. They are the physical act of saying, I am worth caring for. And in summer, especially, let yourself glow. Okay, July glow up number four, confident swimsuit shopping. Speaking of skin, let's talk about swimsuits. Because I know for a lot of us, and I include my past self in this fully, swimsuit shopping has historically been a form of self-torture. Standing under fluorescent lights in a tiny dressing room, picking yourself apart in the mirror, convincing yourself your body has to look a certain way before you deserve to be at a beach or pool. We are done with that story. Done. It leaves today. Here is the truth. You deserve to enjoy summer water moments in your body, not in some future version of your body. This one, the one you have right now. And that means finding a swimsuit that fits well, makes you feel like yourself, and lets you actually move and live and play and rest without spending the whole time tugging and hiding and being in your head. My advice: shop with intention, not desperation.

Swimsuit Shopping With Confidence

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Know your measurements. Read reviews specifically for women with your body type. Look at brands that specialize in inclusive siding and support. Fits that are beautiful and options right now. And when you find something that fits you well and makes you feel good, buy it without the guilt trip. You are not waiting for a smaller version of yourself to live the summer. You are living it now. Go get a swimsuit that helps you do that. July glow up number five. Explore a local cafe or restaurant with a patio. This one is simple. This one is joyful. And this one counts as intentional self-care. I mean that. Summer patio seasons. And is one of life's quiet pleasures. The warm air, the open sky, good food, a cold drink. And if you've been running from home to work and back without pausing to actually enjoy where you live, July is your invitation. This month I want you to explore somewhere local that you haven't been before, or return somewhere beloved with fresh eyes, a cafe with a little courtyard, a restaurant with a string of lights and an outdoor terrace, a brunch spot with tables on the sidewalk. Make a reservation or show up on a weekday where it's quieter. Go alone and bring a journal. Bring a friend you've been meaning to catch up with. Make it a date with yourself or make it a gathering. Either way, it counts. This is something that happens when you sit outside. There is something that happens under the sky with something good in front of you. And nowhere you have to rush. You

Patio Dates That Count As Care

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remember that life is beautiful. You remember that you are here. You remember the rest and pleasure are not rewards for finishing everything on your list. They are part of the life you are building. But a patio is the list this July. Your soul will thank you. July glow up number six. Because one of the most glowing things you can do this summer is gathering people around your table, or your patio, or your porch, or your apartment balcony with two chairs and a string of lights. The size doesn't matter. The gathering does. There is a version of hosting that is overwhelming and exhausting. That one where you have to be perfectly clean house and a five-course meal and everything is Instagram perfect. That is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the kind of hosting that is warm and real. Four to six people, simple food, a cold pitcher of something delicious, candles when the sun goes down, good music in the background, good conversation in the foreground. July is the perfect time because the weather does half the work for you. Throw something on the grill, make a big beautiful salad with all the seasonal fruit we talked about.

Easy Hosting And Real Community

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Get some good bread and a cheese board. Scatter citronetal candles so the mosquitoes don't feed on you. And then invite people you love or people you want to know better. And just be together. Connection is a glow-up. Community is a glow up. Creating a space where people feel welcome and loved, that is one of the most beautiful things a woman can do, and is absolutely a part of the glow getter life. Okay, July glow up number seven. Honor the supportive figures and structures in your life. This is our July final glow up and the most meaningful one on the list. And I saved it for last on purpose. We spend a lot of time on this podcast talking about becoming, about growing, about changing, about the woman we're stepping into. And all of that is important. But today I want you to pause and look behind you for a moment at the people and the things that held you up while you were doing the becoming. Think about it. The friend who checked on you when things were hard, the mentor who said the right things at the right moment, the family member who showed up without being asked, the community, whether in person or online, that made you feel less alone, the therapist, the coach, the prayer group, the walking buddy, the accountability partner, the stranger who left a kind comment when you were having a hard week. Honor them this month, not in a grand performative way, just

Gratitude For People And Systems

SPEAKER_00 26:10

in a real, true, intentional way. Send the text that says, I was thinking about you and I'm grateful for you. Write the notes. Make the phone call you've been meaning to make. Buy the small things that says, I see what you've done for me. Say thank you out loud, specifically with detail. And also honor the structures that support you, the routine that keeps you grounded, the habit that changed your health, the budget system that gave you back control, the morning practice that starts with your day. Acknowledge what's working. Give it credit because the things that support your growth deserve the gratitude just as much as the people do. A woman who is grateful is a woman who is paying attention. And a woman who is paying attention is a woman who is awake. Awake is what's good. Awake is what matters. Awake to the fact that you did not get here alone, and that is not weakness. It is one of the most beautiful things about being a human. Okay, ladies, we have covered a lot today and I'm super proud of us. We talked about one mindset that I believe changes everything. Don't get comfortable. We talked about why comfortable comfort is seductive and why growth requires discomfort. We talked about my story, the pink slip, the pajamas, the 431 pounds, and the four years of uncomfortable, wonderful, life-changing hard work that followed. And we talked about what it looks like to start right where you are. And then we mapped out seven beautiful, intentional, specific ways to make July count: a mid-year money check-in, seasonal fruit forward meals, some rebutry rituals that make you glow, a swimsuit that leads you to actually live the summer, a patio lunch dinner, or a dinner just to a joy of it, gathering people around your table, and honoring the humans and the habits that have held you up. That is a rich life. That is an intentional life. That is a glowgetter life. So here is your one action

One Action Item And Closing

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item before the next episode. Just one. Pick one thing from today, one July glow up, or one uncomfortable thing from the segment one. And commit to this this week. Write it down, put it in your calendar. Tell a friend, make it real. Because dreams don't become reality through wishing, they become reality through doing. One comfortable, beautiful, and perfect, brave little thing at a time. You are over 40. You are wise and worn and wonderful and wily capable of more than you have let yourself believe. This is your time. This is your season. Go glow, my friend. I will see you next episode. So you've been listening to the Midlife Glowgetter with me, Jax, and I just want to thank you. If this episode moved you, share it with a woman who needs to hear it. Leave a positive review if you love what we're building here. And if you do leave a positive review, take a screenshot, DM, or email it to me, and I will follow up with 11 guides free. Just a thank you for you being here, for you leaving the review, and for your support. And if you're ready to go deeper, you can find me at www.jacksties.com or on all socials at JackSty's. Links are in the show notes. I thank you. I love you. Now go get uncomfortable. Bye for now.