The Midlife GlowGetter

GlowGetter Book Review - Let Them

Jax Stys Season 2 Episode 80

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0:00 | 9:59

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You can be the most loving, responsible person in the room and still feel exhausted, anxious, and stretched thin. A big reason is simple: we spend an unbelievable amount of energy trying to control other people. Their moods. Their choices. Their opinions. Their texts. Their silence. And it never works.

Friday’s Glowgetter Book Series starts with a book that genuinely stopped me in my tracks: Mel Robbins’ The Let Them Theory. I walk you through the three ideas I’m still thinking about days later, starting with the uncomfortable truth that so much of our stress comes from chasing control we never had. From there, we get into the part people miss: “let them” is only half the theory. The real power lives in “let me” choosing how I respond, how I protect my energy, and who I decide to be even when someone else is doing the most.

We also talk about a practical tool Mel calls a “radical energy audit,” where you track how often you replay conversations, worry what someone thinks, or wish they’d act differently. It’s a simple stress management exercise that can change how you show up in your relationships, your work, and your midlife mindset, especially if you’ve been carrying other people’s drama on your back.

If you’re ready for healthier boundaries, less anxiety, and more space for your goals and joy, hit play. Then subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more women can find the Glowgetter Book Series.

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SPEAKER_00

Hey, hey, welcome back to the Midlife Glowgetter Podcast. I'm so glad you're here today. Whether you're driving to work, taking a walk, folding laundry, or just sneaking five minutes to yourself, this one is for you. Now it is Friday morning, and that means it's time for something extra special. It's time for the Glowgetter book series. Every single Friday, I'm going to show up here, right here online, and talk to you about a book I just finished reading. Not a stuffy book review, not a summary you could just Google. I'm going to tell you how I felt reading it, why it hit me, and the top three insights that I'm still thinking about days later. Because here's what I believe with everything in me. The right book at the right time can change your life. And it is my job to hand you the ones that changed mine. So this Friday, our very first Glowgetter book series episode, I'm starting with a big one. The book is called The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. And y'all, I don't say this lightly. This book stopped me in my tracks. I laughed, I nodded so hard my neck hurt.

Glowgetter Book Series Kickoff

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I highlighted practically everything on the page. And I thought about my own life in ways I wasn't expecting. And by the way, the audio version is 10 times better with Mal speaking. So here's what I love about this book. It's not just for women. It's not just for people going through something hard. It is for every single adult who has ever felt exhausted, stressed out, or worn down by the people around them. Men, women, whether you're 25 or 65, if you ever lost sleep over what someone thinks of you, if you ever try to change someone who didn't want to be changed, if you ever felt like you're carrying everyone else's drama on your back, this book was written for you. Here are my top three insights from the Let Them Theory. Insight number one. Let me say that again because I need you to really hear it. Most of your stress, the tired you feel, the tight chest, the anxious thoughts that keep looping in your brain at 2 a.m. in the morning. A huge chunk of that is coming from trying to control things you simply cannot control. And the number one thing humans try to control that we cannot control is other people. What they think of us, how they act, what choices they make, what they say, what they don't say, whether they approve of us, whether they change. We spend so much energy on this every day. We replay conversations. We rehearse what we wish we had said. We worry about whether someone is upset with us. We try to fix people. We try to manage people. And

Insight One Stop Controlling People

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here's the truth Mel Robbins puts right in front of you from page one. You never could control any of it. Not once, not never. But the moment you really get that, you just know in your head, but you feel it in your bones, something starts to shift. Because all that energy you were pouring into the impossible, you can have it back. And oh, the things you can do with it. So insight number two, let them is only half the theory. The other half is let me and where your real power lives. This is the part that surprised me most because when I first heard let them theory, I thought, okay, it's about letting people go, detaching, not caring. But Mel Robbins is crystal clear. That is not what that is. Let them is the first move. It means let people be who they are, let them make their choices, let them have their opinions. You are not their manager, you are not their editor, you are not responsible for their decisions. Let them. But then, and this is everything, comes let me. Let me decide how I'm going to respond. Let me take care of my own energy. Let me be responsible for who I choose to be, regardless of what they do. Do you see the difference? Let them without let me is just giving up, checking out. That's not power. That's just going numb.

Insight Two Let Them Let Me

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But when you put them together, you release what isn't yours and you claim what is. That is not passive. That is one of the most active things you can do. And I'll be honest with you, when I read that, I had to put the book down for a second and just sit with it because I realized how many times I had done one without the other. And I let go of someone else's stuff, but then just drifted. Or I take charge of my own life while still quietly trying to steer everyone else's. Both parts together. That's where the magic is. Okay, here's insight number three. The energy you spend trying to control other people is the single biggest drain on your time, your mind, and your heart. And you probably don't even realize how much it's costing you. Mel Robbins asks you to do a simple little experiment. For just one day, just one, keep track of every moment you spend thinking about other people's behavior, worrying about what they think, replaying what happened, wishing you'd act differently. Just notice it. I did this and I was humbled. The amount of mental real estate I was giving away to situations I couldn't fix, to people who weren't even in the room was shocking. And here's what hit me hardest. That's not just stress. That's time, that's creativity, that's energy that could have gone toward my goals, my joy, my relationships with people who are actually present. Mel calls it a radical energy audit. And I love that phrase because it's so practical. It's not

Insight Three Radical Energy Audit

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think positive. It's not just let it go with no instructions. It's look at where your energy is going, then choose differently. Stop spending mental energy on what you cannot control. Reinvest it in what you can. The return on that, she says, is extraordinary. And from personal experience, I truly believe her. So those are my top three takeaways from the Let Them Theory by Belle Robbins, one of the most practical, freeing, and honestly necessary books I've read in a very long time. If you grab nothing from this episode, I want you to walk away with this. You are not responsible for managing, fixing, or controlling the people around you. You never were. And the moment you stop trying, the moment you say let them, you get yourself back. So I generally think you'll love this book. Come find me and tell me what you think of it if you've read it. DM me, leave a review, share this episode. Let's talk about it. Alright, ladies, that's a wrap on our very first Glowgetter book series Friday. I'll be back next week with another one. Until then, keep glowing, keep growing. You've got this. Love jacks.

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