The Midlife GlowGetter

Self-Love Is Discipline: Truths That Fuel Your Midlife Transformation

• Jax Stys • Season 1 • Episode 8

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Redefining discipline as the ultimate form of self-love might just be the mindset shift that changes everything for women in midlife. When you choose discipline—doing the hard thing now for greater joy later—you're building the bridge between the life you have and the life you want. This isn't about perfection; it's about progress, showing up for yourself even when motivation disappears.

After losing 150 pounds in my own midlife journey, I've discovered that sustainable transformation hinges on two powerful principles: connecting deeply with your emotional "why" and tracking your daily habits like it's your job. Your why becomes your anchor during challenges, while habit tracking provides the data, accountability, and momentum that fuel lasting change. Whether you're using the Atomic Habits app or a simple journal, those little checkmarks become proof that you're building trust with yourself again.

Midlife health requires special attention to nutrition, which is why eating a rainbow of colorful fruits and vegetables becomes more crucial than ever. Each color—from cancer-fighting reds (tomatoes, berries) to cell-protecting yellows (sweet potatoes, mangoes) to vision-supporting blues (blueberries, eggplant)—provides unique nutrients that support hormonal balance, cellular health, and disease prevention.

Financial wellness forms another cornerstone of the midlife glow-up. The path forward begins with facing your financial facts without judgment—calculating your net income, auditing spending, listing all debts and assets, and determining your true net worth. This isn't about shame; it's about taking your power back and creating a foundation for financial freedom.

The foundation beneath all transformation is embracing one powerful belief: "I am worthy of love, health, and happiness at any age." Not when you lose weight or fix your finances, but right now. This belief changes everything because midlife isn't your downfall—it's your rebirth into your most magnetic, confident chapter.

Want to continue your glow-up journey? Subscribe to this podcast, follow me on Instagram @JackSties, or visit my blog for more mindset shifts, wellness tips, and glow-up guidance between episodes. You're not just aging—you're ascending into your most radiant self.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Midlife Glow Report, the podcast that's all about helping women 40 and beyond glow all the way up in every area of life. I'm your host, jax. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I know your time is valuable and I'm honored you're spending it with me. In this episode we're talking about why discipline is self-love in action two powerful weight loss tips that helped me lose 150 pounds, a wellness glow-up lesson on eating the rainbow, how to face your finances with clarity, and a coaching exercise to trade comparison for celebration. Plus, we'll wrap the one of the most important midlife beliefs you can carry into your week. This one's packed with truth, tools and encouragement. So grab your coffee, go on a walk or settle in and let's get started. Here we are with your Monday Mindset Minute, where we start the week with one powerful thought to fuel your glow up and keep you moving forward with the life you really want.

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Today's mindset shift, let's talk about the one thing that will change everything if you let it Discipline. Now, I know discipline doesn't sound sexy, it's not glamorous, it's not viral, but listen, discipline is the strongest form of self-love you'll ever practice. Discipline is choosing long-term joy over short-term pleasure. It's doing the hard thing now so your life gets easier later. It's loving yourself enough to say I'm not settling. I'm showing up for the woman I know I'm becoming, for the woman I know I'm becoming. Why? Discipline is everything, especially in midlife, when we hit 40, so many of us are ready for a reset. We're waking up, shedding layers and asking bigger questions what do I want now? What kind of life do I want to live in this next chapter? But here's the truth. Wanting isn't enough, hoping isn't enough. You need discipline, that quiet, steady, loving decision to show up even when motivation disappears. Discipline builds confidence. It builds trust in yourself and that trust, it's the foundation of everything else Weight loss, financial healing, career reinvention, health style and peace.

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Discipline is freedom. This might sound backwards, but it's true. Discipline actually gives you freedom. When you commit to the hard things now eating better, saying no to distractions, sticking to your morning walk, logging off social media at night you unlock more options. Later. You free yourself from regret. You free yourself from chaos, from regret. You free yourself from chaos. You free yourself from the cycle of starting over again and again. And listen, I'm not talking about perfection, I'm talking about progress, one tiny, disciplined action at a time. That's where the real glow up lives. That's where the real glow up lives.

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So here's your mindset reminder of the week. If you take just one thing from today's Monday Mindset Minute, let it be this Discipline is the bridge between the life you have and the life you want. It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it, because when you say yes to discipline, you're not punishing yourself, you're investing in yourself and you are worth every ounce of effort. So set the boundaries, silence the distractions and remember the hard is what makes it easy later. You don't need motivation, you need momentum, and discipline gives you that. You've got this. Now go out there and make discipline your superpower of the week.

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Next, I want to kick things off with two simple but massively powerful weight loss tips that helped me lose over 150 pounds in midlife. And I'm not sharing this as someone who just read a book or followed a trend. I'm telling you this as a woman who has lived it, who has cried on the scale, restarted more times than I can count, and who finally figured out what actually works after 40. So if you've been feeling stuck, frustrated or like your body is working against you, listen up. These two tips changed everything for me.

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Tip number one have a powerful why. Let's be real. Weight loss is not just about fading into smaller genes. It's about taking your life back. That's why the first and most important tip I have is to get crystal clear on your why. Why do you want to lose weight? For me, it wasn't about the number on the scale. It was about getting out of survival mode. I wanted energy. I wanted mobility. I wanted to live long enough to travel with my grandkids someday, even though I don't have any yet. I wanted to live a happy and healthy life for years to come and enjoy my time with my son, family and friends. I wanted to be proud of myself again. That why became my anchor when things got hard and they still do. When the scale stalls, when cravings hit, when motivation dips, I come back to that deeper reason, because discipline comes and goes. But your why is what keeps you going on those days when it's not easy, and there will be those days, many days. So I challenge you write down your why, make it emotional, make it personal, let it give you goosebumps. That's the kind of fuel that ignites long-term change.

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Tip number two track your habits like it's your job. Now let's talk about what actually builds momentum, and that's tracking your daily habits. Not just obsessing over the scale, but focusing on what you control every single day. I started tracking five key things. That moves the needle for me and I still do this every day Movement, food protocol, meaning the plan I actually stick to hydration, sleep and mindset. Every day I ask did I move my body today? Did I drink my water? Did I follow my food plan? Did I get enough sleep and did I take even one minute to check in with my mindset? Tracking these habits gave me structure, clarity and accountability. I'm not just guessing or hoping. I have data, I have evidence. And that felt empowering.

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My favorite tool the Adams app by James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits. I love it because it's so simple, visual and rooted in real habit science. You literally see the streaks growing and once I start stacking those streaks, I don't want to break them. That little checkmark gives me dopamine and let's be honest, we all need a little win each day when we're transforming ourselves. So here's your glow-up takeaway Know your why. It'll carry you through. Track your habits, because what gets tracked gets improved. You don't need to be perfect, you just need to keep showing up because progress is made in those tiny daily decisions, not in one big transformation moment. And if I can lose 150 pounds in midlife while juggling real life, work, bills, family, friends and all the chaos, so can you Keep going. You're worth every bit of this glow-up you're chasing.

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Now we're on to our wellness segment. I thought I'd do something fun and different. As we hit our 40s and beyond, our bodies go through powerful changes, including our hormones, metabolism and our cells. One of the simplest and most powerful things we can do to support our health, energy, skin digestion and long-term disease prevention eat the rainbow, also known as. Load your plate with a variety of colorful fruits and vegetables every single day. Here's why this matters so much for women in midlife. Each color equals unique nutrients. Today, I'll be highlighting the colors of different fruits and veggies and letting you all know the benefits of that color and examples of those different foods.

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So let's get started. First off, we have the color red. The benefit is lycopene, which is an antioxidant that has been found to reduce the risk of cancer and cardiovascular disease. Another benefit is anthocyanins, which does protect cells from damage I pronounce that right which does protect cells from damage. Some examples of these foods include red apples, beets, red bell peppers, tomatoes, pomegranates, watermelon, red grapes, radishes, raspberries and rhubarb.

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Now we are on to the color yellow-orange. The benefits include carotenoids, like beta-carotene. These convert to vitamin A, which is vital to healthy cell growth, bone health, skin health and immune function. Examples of foods include apricots, cantaloupe, yams, carrots, sweet potatoes, yellow peppers, peaches, pineapples, sweet corn, winter squash, pumpkin and mangoes. Let's talk about orange-yellow colored foods. The benefit is flavonoids, which is a powerful antioxidant that protects the body's cells from free radicals and help metabolize fats. Another benefit is vitamin C. Some sources of foods include citrus fruits like lemons, grapefruits and papaya.

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Now on to the color green. One benefit is folate. This is important for cell division and helps make red blood cells. Another benefit is lutein, which is important for the eyes. Finally, still a third benefit, include indoles, which is a powerful cancer fighter. Examples include asparagus, avocado, cucumber, spinach, kale, collards, chard, broccoli, brussel sprouts and fresh herbs. So the color brown. The benefits include terpenoids, b3, and high in antiviral and anti-inflammatory properties. Sources include things like mushrooms. And here we are at the white-colored foods. One benefit includes dileal dislulified, which is a phytochemical that may reduce the risk of stomach and colon cancer. And another benefit is allicin, which can lower cholesterol. Examples of these foods include bananas, garlic, onion, chives, cauliflower, parsnips, potatoes and turnips.

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Now on to blue colored foods. The benefit includes anthocyanins, a group of flavonoid pigments that may fight cancer and inflammation. Sources include blueberries my favorite purple grapes, eggplant, plums and raisins. Finally, the last color is purple foods. The benefit includes resveratrol, a type of antioxidant that may help prevent damage to blood vessels in the heart and reduce bad cholesterol. Sources of these foods include red and purple grapes, berries and plums. So now that I just explained all the benefits of different colored fruits and veggies, you can finally understand. The saying goes eat the rainbow.

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Now on to our financial glow up segment. So let's get real. I'm not just your glow up guide in wellness, I'm also your financial accountability partner, because I know how heavy financial stress can feel in midlife, and I say this with all the love in the world you cannot glow up your life if your finances are weighing you down. Trust me, I've lived it. Three years ago, I was a single mom, paycheck to paycheck, with a son away in college, debt up to my eyeballs and not a clue where my money was actually going. Fast forward to today. I've paid over $32,000 in debt, and it all started with one uncomfortable but powerful step facing the facts.

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Why this is the first step? Before you can change anything, you have to know exactly where you are standing. You wouldn't try to GPS your way to a destination without first telling the map where you are right. It's the same with money. So many of us avoid looking at our finances because we are overwhelmed, ashamed or just plain exhausted. But the truth is, your financial glow-up begins the moment you stop avoiding and start observing without judgment. This step isn't about beating yourself up. It's about taking your power back, what facing the facts actually looks like. Let me walk you through what I did and what I encourage other women to do.

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First, step one calculate your net monthly income. Start with how much money is actually coming in. I'm talking about your paycheck. After taxes and deductions and, in any side, income, child support, alimony or recurring benefits. This is your total monthly net income. Knowing your real income number sets the foundation for every financial decision you make.

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Step two audit your spending from the last 30 days. Pull your bank statements. Look at your debit card, credit card, venmo, cash app Everything. Categorize your spending, food bills. Pull your bank statements. Look at your debit card, credit card, venmo, cash app everything. Categorize your spending food bills, housing, auto, amazon, beauty subscriptions, gas, you name it. This isn't about guilt. This is about awareness. I call this your financial mirror. I call this your financial mirror. You need to see where your money has been going so you can decide if that's where you want it to go. Moving forward, you will be shocked at how much you're spending in areas you didn't even realize and that's draining your budget.

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Step three review your fixed and variable expenses. Fixed expenses are the ones that stay the same each month, like rent and mortgage, car payments, insurance. Variable expenses change, like groceries, dining out, entertainment and personal care. Write them down, put numbers back to each. This will help you see where you can tighten up, cut back or reallocate as needed. Step four list all your debts. Yes, all of them. Credit cards, personal loans, student loans, medical bills, card loans, everything. Write down the balance, the interest rate and the minimum payment. This step was the hardest for me, but I promise what you write down you can take down. I kept this list on my fridge like a warrior checklist and I knocked those balances out one by one.

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Step five list all your assets. Assets are anything you own that holds value Savings, checking accounts, retirement accounts, the value of your car, if it's paid off, Property, if you own it, even investments or side hustles. List those out. Even if it's small, it counts. Every dollar you have saved or built is worth celebrating.

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Step six calculate your net worth. Take your total assets and subtract the total debts. This number is your net worth. It might be negative right now, and that's okay. What matters is that now you know your starting line and you are not stuck here.

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Why this step is empowering? Facing your numbers is not about shame. It's about clarity, and clarity is confidence. Once you know where you stand, you can make real plans. You can stop spiraling, stop guessing, stop overdrafting and start setting boundaries with your money. This step gave me power in a season where I felt powerless. It made me believe I could change my financial story, and now I'm proof that it's possible, even as a single mom, living paycheck to paycheck, even with debt and doubt and a whole lot of responsibility.

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So here's your homework for this week Sit down and face your facts. List your income. Review 30 days of spending. Write out your expenses, debts and assets, calculate your net worth and then breathe. Celebrate the courage it takes to get financially honest, because once you know your truth, you can start building your glow up brick by brick. You've got this. I'm walking this journey with you, so let's glow up every area of our lives, including our wallets.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's talk confidence. If you're anything like me, you've spent years putting everyone else first Kids, job, relationships, expectations and somewhere along the way, your self-confidence took a backseat. Maybe it even vanished completely. But here's the truth Confidence isn't something you're either born with or without. It's something you build and, the best part, you could start building it right now, no matter your age, weight or current circumstances. Today I want to share three confidence boosters that have helped me glow up in midlife, and I know they'll help you too.

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Confidence booster number one read self-improvement books. Listen, I'm a total personal development junkie, and for good reason. When I started reading books about mindset, habits, purpose, money, relationships, it was like someone turned the lights back in my brain. Books like Atomic Habits, you Are a Badass and the Obesity Code didn't just inform me, they empowered me. They reminded me that change is possible, that I'm not broken, that I'm capable of building a life that feels good from the inside out. Reading daily, even just 10 minutes, feeds your mind with confidence-boosting thoughts and rewires that inner critic. It helps you hear a new voice inside, the one that says you've got this Okay.

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Confidence booster number two set small, achievable goals. Let me tell you something nothing kills confidence faster than over-promising to yourself and under-delivering, and nothing builds confidence faster than setting a small goal and crushing it. In midlife we've been conditioned to set big all-or-nothing goals lose 50 pounds, change careers, fix everything overnight. But real confidence comes from momentum, from showing up, from doing what you said you'd do, no matter how small. For me, it started with walking 10 minutes, drinking more water, reading one chapter, paying off one credit card. Every small win reminded me that I'm capable, that I follow through, that I can trust myself again. So choose one small goal this week and honor it like it's sacred, because it is Okay. Finally, confidence booster number three learn something new and teach it. This one might surprise you, but it's powerful. Learn something new and then share it.

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Midlife is not too late to grow. You're not too old to evolve. In fact, learning in this season is supercharged because you bring wisdom, life experience and curiosity with you. I started learning about wellness, hormones, habit building, financial independence and guess what? The more I learned, the more empowered I felt, and when I started sharing what I was learning with other women, that's when my confidence skyrocketed. Teaching, even informally, reminds you that your voice matters, that your journey is valuable, that you have something worth saying. So take a course, read a book, watch a TED Talk, and then go talk about it on a walk with a friend or in a journal or on social media. Confidence grows when you share your knowledge and see the impact it can make.

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So, to recap, if you want to boost your confidence in midlife, read something that uplifts your mind. Set one small goal and crush it. Learn something new and pass it on. You don't need to have it all together to feel confident. You just need to show up for yourself in small, intentional ways and trust. You are worthy of becoming the most confident, radiant version of yourself, because you were never too much or too late. You were just waiting for your midlife glow up to begin, and guess what it already has.

Speaker 1:

So now we are covering a life coaching concept and exercise that can benefit each and every one of us, something that creeps in quietly but can seal your joy fast Comparison. We've all done it. You're scrolling on Instagram watching someone glow up and suddenly the thought sneaks in why not me? She's already doing what I want to do. I can never pull that off and just like that, your energy drops, your light dims, not because she's shining too brightly, but because you forgot that her sparkle doesn't take anything away from yours. Let me say that again for the women in the back Someone else's magic doesn't diminish your own. Magic doesn't diminish your own.

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Why this life coaching concept matters, especially in midlife, at 40 and beyond. We face a different kind of comparison. We compare how we are aging our bodies, our relationships, our careers, our finances, our kids. We wonder if we're behind our finances, our kids. We wonder if we're behind, if it's too late, if we missed the memo on how to be successful or beautiful or together in this season. But midlife isn't about proving yourself. It's about coming home to yourself, and one of the most powerful shifts you can make is this. And one of the most powerful shifts you can make is this when you feel comparison creeping in, choose celebration instead, because when you lift up another woman, you don't shrink, you expand, you step in abundance, connection and confidence, because there's room for all of us to rise. So let's turn this mindset shift into action.

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Here's your coaching challenge for this week and, trust me, it's powerful. Celebrate three women. That's it. That's the work. Here's how. Pick three women you admire. They can be a friend, a coworker, someone you follow online or even a stranger who inspired you. Give them a genuine compliment, say it out loud, send a message or drop it in the comments. Make it specific and soulful. Not just you look nice, but your glow is contagious. You look nice, but your glow is contagious. The way you keep showing up for yourself inspired me this week. Your courage gives me permission to try.

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Why does this work? Because when you celebrate someone else, you interrupt the comparison spiral, you connect instead of compete and you remind yourself of something powerful. What you admire in others often reflects something alive in you. As you do this exercise, I want you to reflect on these. What did it feel like to celebrate someone instead of compare? Did their shine really take anything from you or did it light something up inside you? What qualities you admire in them and you are ready to embrace in yourself? Because that's what the glow up journey is really about Choosing to rise in sisterhood, not scarcity.

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So go celebrate someone today. Start a ripple of joy, of love, of visibility, and know that every time you cheer on another woman, you are quietly cheering yourself on too. You're not behind, you're just getting started and you, my friend, are already glowing. So now you know, I always bring you one powerful belief each episode to help you shift your mindset and fuel your midlife glow up, and today's is the big one, maybe the most important one. Here it is I am worthy of love, health and happiness at any age. Let that sink in, not when you lose the weight, not if you get the job or find the relationship or fix everything that feels broken, not someday. Right now.

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This belief is crucial for midlife women because, let's be real, we've been conditioned for decades to believe our best years are behind us, that youth is the prize, that shrinking ourselves physically, emotionally, financially is the goal. But let me tell you something I've learned the hard way Midlife is not the end, it's the beginning and your most magnetic, confident, full alive chapter. And you don't have to earn your worth with perfection, people-pleasing and productivity. You were born worthy. You were worthy of being loved deeply. You were worthy of glowing with health inside and out. You were worthy of waking up, excited for your life again. Not because you've done everything right, because you are still here, choosing to grow, choosing to rise, choosing to grow, choosing to rise, choosing to believe in yourself again.

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This belief will shift everything. It will help you stop settling. It will help you nourish your body instead of punishing it. It will help you say yes to joy and no to things that drain you. It will guide every step of your glow up journey. So if no one's told you lately, hear it from me you are worthy right now, right here, at 40, 50, 60, 70, and beyond.

Speaker 1:

Let this be the belief you carry into your next chapter. Tattoo it on your heart, speak it in the mirror, write it in your journal, say it until you believe it, because midlife isn't your downfall, it's your rebirth. I'm so grateful you joined me today. Thank you for being part of this growing, glowing Midlife Sisterhood. If something in this episode lit a spark for you, I'd love if you shared the show with a friend, left a review or dropped me a message with your thoughts. Your support helps this podcast grow and reach more women who are ready to rise. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Jack Sties, subscribe to my free newsletter or check out my blog at wwwjackstiescom for even more mindset shifts, wellness tips and glow up guidance between episodes. Until next time, keep showing up, keep glowing and keep remembering you are worthy of love, health and happiness at any age. Until next time, love jacks.

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Jax Stys

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